In middle school, I had a best friend I did everything with. We hung out everyday after school, made arts and crafts, and even had our own cute Web show. As we grew up, we both went our separate ways and even though we would hang out from time to time it was never the same. Time passed and we grew apart. Yet, we never conjured negative feelings towards one another. It was simply growing up. Eventually, we both went to different colleges and moved away. We are very different people now but I still acknowledge how much influence she had on my life.
In college, I met my person. We lived together, had our own inside jokes, and were basically inseparable. Then life happened and we had to take separate paths. When she transferred schools, I was devastated and we do keep in touch but like before it’s not the same. However, she will always be there for me if something goes wrong and the good times we had together will be fun stories i’ll tell my kids someday. How awesome is it that I have two forever friends? That even though time and distance has pulled us apart we understand that doesn’t affect who we are as individuals and that we’ve never spilt bad blood over it.
Life happens. It happens all too quickly and people will come and go. Some may leave footprints on your heart but everyone will teach you a lesson. It’s important to appreciate everyone for teaching you some sort of lesson. It’s wasted space to harvest negativity if someone chooses to leave. Let them. Whether it was their choice or not- it was meant to happen. So you can grow.... So you can learn.
I’ve gotten to the stage in my life that I no longer feel the need to continue meaningless friendships. If you think that makes me a bad person so be it. Yet, a significance in growing up is weaving through the people in your life and putting effort into the relationships that lift you up. A true friend will support your achievements, make you feel loved, want to listen and be around you. A true friend will not bring chaos into your life. Sometimes, it’s necessary to put yourself first and cut ties. Charlotte Bronte wrote in Jane Eyre, “I have an inward treasure born with me which can keep me alive if all the extraneous delights should be withheld or offered only at a price I cannot afford to give.”
I think Bronte is saying many things in this quote. Importantly, you need to learn to be happy yourself. You should never rely on a friend to be your happiness because if they are to go away, you’ll come crumbling down. You need to find the treasure within yourself and be your own best friend. As a matter of fact, you yourself are a treasure. You are worth all the stars in the galaxy, as well as the moon and sun. Just like any other treasure you own, you should take responsibility for it. Care for yourself. Insist that your life be full of sincerity, that you are deserving, don’t sell yourself short our of fear of conflict and confrontation. Make high expectations when it comes to who you surround yourself with.
It’s said that you become like the five people you spend time with the most. If you don’t like how your close friend is acting; you may not realize but they may be influencing your actions to be like yours too. There’s no purpose in letting bad energy exist in your life. Not everyone you lose is a loss. Cutting a negative person from your life will give you more confidence, happiness, and teach you a positive lesson. I’m sure during your experience with that person there were some good times, therefore appreciate that and just accept that you are two souls on opposite journeys.
At first, It can be tough moving on from losing a friend. Your daily routine may completely change and you have to enjoy activities with other people. I miss some old friends from time to time but I also remember that I’ve gotten to where I am today without them. They may have held me back from my aspirations. Don’t get me wrong: It’s totally okay to miss someone. It just means you had good times with them. Except, missing someone is different than wanting the relationship back.
Growing up is hard but I have a feeling we’ll all turn out alright.
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