Real-life superwoman

I wake up every morning around six. I am an early riser and i’m actually very happy in the morning. Yet, in high-school, that wasn’t the case. I like getting up at the break of dawn and experiencing the day before other people are even awake. It’s quiet and absolutely beautiful. Plus, you get more done with your day then anybody else who wastes time sleeping. Don’t worry, I do get the needed eight hours of sleep to function but I don’t oversleep like most of my friends do. I woke up in Gil’s bed this morning and made my way down from Centennial to class. Of course, I stopped at Starbucks before heading the Environmental Ethics. I get my caramel frap. everyday. 

I’ve decided i’m the real life superwoman. Just give me a cape and some bright-colored tights and i’m your girl! I somehow am able to manage a boyfriend, tons of friends, schoolwork, clubs, and sleep all at the same time. Without any naps. On top of that, I must keep my apartment clean and myself clean. I thank my caramel frap. for all of this. Today, I still have to go to the gym, call my parents, study spanish, shower, and shave my legs. I’m not complaining. I love being a busy bee. I also manage to fit in a lay by the pool everyday! Did I forget to mention my university has tons of pools? I basically attend a country club. I am hoping that by the end of this week I am significantly more tan.
Discussion of a puppy is in the air for my apartment. Although I am up for it and have agreed to having a puppy in this apartment, I can’t help but miss Milo. I feel as if i’m cheating on Milo if we get a new puppy for the apartment. My little booger graduated from puppy school yesterday and I am so very proud of him. Only one puppy owns my heart. My parents make sure to send me pictures and have me face-time him. He’s getting so big from when we first brought him home! I’m sad to see how much he’s grown when I fly home in October. My hair is growing. Thank God! And soon enough my hair will no longer be dark as night. I can’t wait to look naturally beautiful again and be back to my dirty blonde ways. 

1st week of school

It has officially been one week of school and I am very excited about this upcoming year. I would like to start blogging more often. I should take an hour of my day out and dedicate it to my writing. Although, I am not, I feel as if I am already behind on school-work. All my classes are interesting (sort of) and I made my schedule live-able by only having classes till twelve everyday. I do have more friends than possibly able to juggle though so I will be coming more distant with a few people I was close with last year. While, gaining new awesome friends! The only class I do not like is spanish considering I got a D in the class last year and am horrible at the language. I need to pass to be able to do recruitment for Greek this upcoming year. I’ve always wanted to be Greek but within the last week, i’ve been thinking otherwise.

So, what did I do this week? Last Sunday, I went out with my roommates and scampered all across campus. Don’t worry, we didn’t have class Monday. Friday night (last night) we did that all over again since it was Lauren’s 20th birthday! I also hugged a boy I had just met in my philosophy class named Hunter. I am going to regret that when I see him in class on Monday. I did see Dillon and Jake yesterday for lunch and they were going to through a party, but I wasn’t able to get ahold of them. I still had fun with my gals! 

Today was DERBY DAY! Derby day: a traditional college event turned HighPoint University with tons of blow-up water-slides and games featuring taco trucks and funnel cake stands, where every student comes plastered and ready to have drunk fun. As a freshman, you aren’t aware to show up drunk so it isn’t as fun as it has the potential to be. But today was awesome as a sophomore! Although like last year, I did have the same start to my day.. walking back from Gil’s apartment, from sleeping over in last nights clothes, being heavily judged as the "morning after walk" even though it’s my boyfriend. I didn’t go out tonight. I couldn’t. With a headache and exhausted, it wasn’t bout to happen. I stayed in with Rae and Calla, and watched Sydney White accompanied by pizza. I had six slices. Six!!! My stomach felt like it was about to explode. On the other hand, it devastates me what happened to Amanda Bynes. People call her crazy for having a mental disorder when she can’t help it. She will take medicine and learn to control it. She was so beautiful though and it makes me so terribly sad what her disorder did to her self perception. Though I hate my black hair, I would hope to never shave my head or get dimple piercings. Maybe I just shouldn’t get tattoos? The life long question. 

Right now, I am waiting up for Gil to pick me up at 1:00 and walk me back to his place where I can pass out comfortably in his bed. Trying to maintain a healthy relationship in college is hard and I would not suggest it to the weak. I am incredibly tired. 1 week down, tons more to go!

New year, same Carly

I’m back at HighPoint which should be a good thing yet at times, I can’t help but get an hallow feeling in my chest. I’m living in a different dorm this year with new roommates who are all very nice but aren’t aware of my anxiety issues. I partied with them last night and had a lot of fun yet feel as if they don’t like me, even though they told me drunkenly that they love me and i’m their new best friend. Then why would I feel like I am bothering them when I tag along? It’s uncomfortable. The first week of school is always uncomfortable. Unsure of how important I am to my old friends now that I am out of walking distance and unsure of how the year will play out. The only thing i’m sure of is my wonderful boyfriend and even that, I feel like i’m fucking up and he’s going to break up with me. I already miss him when i’ve been away for him for only a few hours. He makes me the happiest. 

Yet, this is how I was last year when I first came to school. I don’t want to fuck it up with my roommates though and this is what it was like last year. I don’t want to smother them too much to the point where I annoy them and I don’t want to cause fights. I just need to realize the few friends I do have are enough and actually care. G, E, JB and JS. have reached out to me. They are there for me. H is great too. Although, who knows? I tend to do so much for people who wouldn’t for me. A hasn’t walked to Wilson once yet and lied to me last night. I have people who care about me so who gives a fuck head about those who don’t?

I miss home. I miss my mom, my dad, my sister, my milo; etc. I just started re-uniting with friends and having fun again in Jersey and then had to leave. College always sucks the first two months and I need to remember that. If my depression begins to flare I need to get out of my room as much as possible and do things. Whether it be reading a book on the hammock or talking a walk with music. I refuse to let myself suffer from sadness. This blogging thing helps this. I just wonder if i’ll have time when schoolwork starts up. My throats beginning  to get that tingling sore feeling it gets before I get sick. Maybe it’s cause i’m holding back from pathetically crying about absolutely nothing. OK, school isn’t going as I expected? But I hold the possibility to make it great. It is up to me and no one else.