Do I have to go to work?

I finally got a chance to watch The Vineyard and although, it is apparent that the “reality” show is scripted, It reminded me that there are other great places all over the world I could possibly live. I shouldn’t just limit myself to the South. Ever since I got sick, I tend to limit myself a lot. I now realize i’m invincible and play it safe. I remember when I was younger when I would jump into pools without contemplating if it was cold and running around in the dark without fear of what was in it. I want to let go of the fear in my life and not let it hold me back. Summer may be ending but I can begin my adventure within the next school year. Over the weekend, I went down to Ocean City with my mom to visit my mother’s side of the family. When we stopped at The Kennedy’s, my 2nd cousin Mark offered me a internship for next summer that would pay 10$/hr. It would also look great on my resume! The best part was that Mark was completely serious and as long as I reach out to him this upcoming winter to apply I will get the job. I would like to finally quit Rizzieries. I have quit Pacsun, thankfully! Only 19 more days until i’m back to HighPoint and Gil will be visiting Jersey this Saturday for a week. Besides not having friends, Jersey isn’t as bad as I make it seem. If I had people to do things with, i’d have fun! Surprisingly, i’ve been on a diet for a week now and been sticking to it. I would love to lose 20 pounds before next summer, so I can eat all the junk food I want to! This is the longest i’ve actually ever stuck to eating healthy. 

July 4th Celebrations

I just would like school to start already. I miss my boyfriend, I miss my friends, I miss my campus, etc. High Point University was the best thing to ever happen in my life and I am so thankful I was accepted two years ago. Ever since, building my life in North Carolina is wonderful. Although, when I am in New Jersey I am terrible. I hate this place! I am surrounded by  negativity and only count down the days till I am once again in the south. Next Tuesday, I’ll be on a flight back down to Raleigh. I have such high hopes for the upcoming year yet am scared for what surprising disappointments lay ahead. I have tons of high expectations that may or may not be fulfilled. Today is July fourth, I am supposed to be out celebrating but I hadn’t made plans because I expected to be working. Well, I will be quitting my job this upcoming weekend since Pacsun constantly messes with me. Now, I am sitting in my bed, blogging on this holiday. This day, last year, I was living with Nana and commuting to work. I spent the day with my parents (who I wasn’t on good terms with) since they had a BBQ and we saw fireworks. I remember feeling dizzy on the way to my parents house and being scared because I had Nana in the car. I wonder how much my condition has improved within the last year and how much it will improve throughout the next year. Maybe someday I will be able to conquer spinning. Me and my parents are (sort of) okay now. I am living with them again and we no longer fight but they tend to. The question of divorce always lingers. I called Annee the other night when they were fighting and I couldn’t calm down. She reminded me that “Everything happens for a reason”. That’s true. So, throughout the next year, whatever does happen, it happens for a reason! Whether it be with friends, Gil, family, etc. 

Questions to answer next summer:

Are you still with Gil?

What new people did you meet?

What friends did you lose?

Did you do well in swimming?

How was the roommate situation? (You think the 3 bffs will leave you out)

Do you look the same?

Any tattoos? (Probs not. Pussy!)

Is Lily still alive?

Are you living with Katie?

How’s milo?

How’s Nana? (She’s not too healthy right now)

Are you in a sorority?

Grades?

Are you happy?

Meet Milo!

Yesterday, I woke up really mad at Milo because I was pmsing. It was Milos fault that I only sat on this couch, hadn’t taken a shower in days, looked disgusting, etc. But after I took a shower and calmed down, I realized I was just being stupid. I tend to do that a lot even with my wonderful boyfriend. (I don’t know how he puts up with me but thank God he does!) Basically, i’m blaming a puppy for my problems. Thats a new low! I got a call from an “acting agency” yesterday but don’t actually know if it is real or a scam. His name was Rodney from igottalentnow.com and he wants to set up a meeting to discuss my talent. If it’s real, that is great but I don’t know how into much i’m into entertainment anymore. I’ve begun thinking realistically and i’d just love to move down south and raise a happy family. I am sort of regretting not pursuing a education in architecture. But I do love the college I go to. If it’s a scam, that terrifies me that some man has my information and knows personal things about me. I entered a contest hosted to win 2,500 dollars towards dorm room stuff and would love to win. The money would go to good use and I believe I deserve it. But it’s up to fate now! I’ll be finding out end of September. I do have work today at two which is a nice change and I need money. I’m a money hungry person.

My birthday wishlist (even though my birthday is months away)

• Kate Spade’s Cobble Hill Ellen (in any solid color except grey)

http://www.katespade.com/designer-handbags/leather-handbags/cobble-hill-ellen/PXRU2233-1,en_US,pd.html?dwvar_PXRU2233-1_color=490#start=18&cgid=ks-sale-handbags-wallets

• Except i’m loving this Lily Pulitzer purse also (i’d only want one of them but which one?!)

http://www.lillypulitzer.com/product/Accessories-Shoes/Great-Gifts/entity/pc/61/c/78/5761.uts?swatchName=Fiesta+Pink+Everything+Nice+Small

•  This!!!!

http://www.lillypulitzer.com/product/Skipper-Printed-Popover/3997.uts?relationType=crossSell

• The 2014 True Navy Tiger Lily Medium Agenda

http://www.lillypulitzer.com/product/Skipper-Printed-Popover/3997.uts?relationType=crossSell

• Pinkgirl.com Bow, towel, frocket tee-shirt and pillow case!!! (obviously i would pick colors and monograms if asked)

Milo has been sleeping a lot today which means I have a lot of free time since my days are spent being a dog nanny. Yet, i’ve visited all my favorite websites and put tons of clothes into online shopping carts that i’ll never be able to afford. So, I might as well blog! Blogging hasn’t become an everyday habit yet but hopefully it will eventually. Before vacation, summer seemed to be going good. Now, I feel as if there is nothing to do around my town anymore. Maybe it is just because I spend my days taking care of a puppy (whom I absolutely love). Work never schedules me anymore either. I am very excited to go back to school. I don’t want to be too anxious for the future though. I want to live in the present and be happy! I am thinking of waking up an hour earlier and actually dressing nicely for the day and preparing myself for the day because I think looking better may make me feel better. I wonder how this experiment will go. I also wish my friend rachel was more available to hang out. I need to meet more new people or reach out to more people! No one seems interesting enough though. I should get back to watching Milo. I wish I had tons of money to buy nice stuff such as Kate Spade, Michael Kors and monogram everything! Someday i’ll be rich and famous and able to.

Goals for the rest of the summer:

[] Do not cut nor dye hair

[] Become more active with Milo

[] Do not spend your money on anything besides school purchases (and Gils gift and 80$ for dad)

[] Craft

Lets see if I can do it!

I’ve never ran an actual blog before aside from posting pictures on tumblr and buddy4u. Although, I did journal religiously in a leather bound notebook throughout junior and senior year of high-school and I hope other than using pen and paper it won’t be much different. Am I supposed to introduce myself? It’s a good way to kill thirty minutes while my god-forsaken whitening strips are applied. My teeth used to be extremely white and I actually was moderately attractive at the start of senior year but when I got “sick", I lost all motivation to try. It stinks! Anyways, I just got back from vacation at Pleasure Island. We brought home the first dog to be in our household; a small 11-week-old jack russell terrier named Milo. (Pictures will come once I figure out this whole blogging thing!) He’s currently downstairs with my dad doing whatever puppies do. I still need to pick up my hamster, Lily and fish, Fish from my Nana’s house because she babysat them while I was gone. I also really miss my boyfriend, Gil, who I got to see this past week after going without his wonderful-ness for a month. Long distance is a bummer! I will see him again in two weeks for his 21st birthday. Hopefully, next blog post I will be a tad more exciting. Considering I just suffered a 12 hour car ride, I am exhausted.