Do I have to go to work?

I finally got a chance to watch The Vineyard and although, it is apparent that the “reality” show is scripted, It reminded me that there are other great places all over the world I could possibly live. I shouldn’t just limit myself to the South. Ever since I got sick, I tend to limit myself a lot. I now realize i’m invincible and play it safe. I remember when I was younger when I would jump into pools without contemplating if it was cold and running around in the dark without fear of what was in it. I want to let go of the fear in my life and not let it hold me back. Summer may be ending but I can begin my adventure within the next school year. Over the weekend, I went down to Ocean City with my mom to visit my mother’s side of the family. When we stopped at The Kennedy’s, my 2nd cousin Mark offered me a internship for next summer that would pay 10$/hr. It would also look great on my resume! The best part was that Mark was completely serious and as long as I reach out to him this upcoming winter to apply I will get the job. I would like to finally quit Rizzieries. I have quit Pacsun, thankfully! Only 19 more days until i’m back to HighPoint and Gil will be visiting Jersey this Saturday for a week. Besides not having friends, Jersey isn’t as bad as I make it seem. If I had people to do things with, i’d have fun! Surprisingly, i’ve been on a diet for a week now and been sticking to it. I would love to lose 20 pounds before next summer, so I can eat all the junk food I want to! This is the longest i’ve actually ever stuck to eating healthy. 

July 4th Celebrations

I just would like school to start already. I miss my boyfriend, I miss my friends, I miss my campus, etc. High Point University was the best thing to ever happen in my life and I am so thankful I was accepted two years ago. Ever since, building my life in North Carolina is wonderful. Although, when I am in New Jersey I am terrible. I hate this place! I am surrounded by  negativity and only count down the days till I am once again in the south. Next Tuesday, I’ll be on a flight back down to Raleigh. I have such high hopes for the upcoming year yet am scared for what surprising disappointments lay ahead. I have tons of high expectations that may or may not be fulfilled. Today is July fourth, I am supposed to be out celebrating but I hadn’t made plans because I expected to be working. Well, I will be quitting my job this upcoming weekend since Pacsun constantly messes with me. Now, I am sitting in my bed, blogging on this holiday. This day, last year, I was living with Nana and commuting to work. I spent the day with my parents (who I wasn’t on good terms with) since they had a BBQ and we saw fireworks. I remember feeling dizzy on the way to my parents house and being scared because I had Nana in the car. I wonder how much my condition has improved within the last year and how much it will improve throughout the next year. Maybe someday I will be able to conquer spinning. Me and my parents are (sort of) okay now. I am living with them again and we no longer fight but they tend to. The question of divorce always lingers. I called Annee the other night when they were fighting and I couldn’t calm down. She reminded me that “Everything happens for a reason”. That’s true. So, throughout the next year, whatever does happen, it happens for a reason! Whether it be with friends, Gil, family, etc. 

Questions to answer next summer:

Are you still with Gil?

What new people did you meet?

What friends did you lose?

Did you do well in swimming?

How was the roommate situation? (You think the 3 bffs will leave you out)

Do you look the same?

Any tattoos? (Probs not. Pussy!)

Is Lily still alive?

Are you living with Katie?

How’s milo?

How’s Nana? (She’s not too healthy right now)

Are you in a sorority?

Grades?

Are you happy?